Day 4

09:41am

 

Nik and I had a fight last night… I think we were both just a bit ratty due to the lack of cigarettes… he even said he was going out to buy some!  I think that’s what kicked it off because I was so angry and disappointed.  I’m really determined this time!  We were ok this morning.  He woke me gently and said hi… so I apologised as I have been quit longer so I’m feeling it more.

 

Tried booking my tickets for my trip next month but having no luck… wish I had a bloomin’ car! >.<

 

He still wants a cigarette… he refuses NRT and gum but I’m really hoping he doesn’t cave in L

 

We’re off out to the shops soon so I hope he doesn’t buy any.

Day 3

08:19

Had a little trouble getting to sleep last night... nasty nic struck just as I was dozing of... not wanting to chew gum in case I fell asleep and choked, I asked Nik if he had his juice in with him, which he didn't. So I said, "Oh well, I'll just tough it out." And I did! I started to think of things the extra money would be spent on like the kids TV, presents for christmas and birthdays... a new game even! That helped so I soon went to sleep.

I'm ok just now... but Nathan started this morning so I'm hoping it doesn't get too bad.

12:52pm

Yesterday, Nik & I gave our upstairs neighbour the rest of the tobacco, papers and tips... was nearly a full pouch. I knew she smoked roll ups so I knew they would have been appreciated. Well, today I got a wee surprise! My eldest came in with two little boxes of chocolates for Nik & me! They were a 'thank you' from my upstairs neighbour for giving her the tobacco! I couldn't believe it! I have never expected anything in return when I do something nice for someone... and at the end of the day... she's doing us the favour by taking it off our hands and keeping us from the temptation! We didn't normally smoke roll ups, they were 'emergency stash' in case we were completely skint and had ran out of cigarettes! I'm very happy she appreciates them... not many people would show their appreciation around here.

18:44

I have been feeling breathless and restless... For about an hour I have felt defeated and the urge to smoke grew incredibly strong... I had visions of myself going next door to get a cigarette! I text my friend who is also quitting and she called me back and got me round... I was even crying as I answered the phone to her. She's a gem, she really is :-).

I think Nik is going to give up however... things are adding up for him... but we'll see... he might just surprise me!

22:17

I was just looking back at today's post and something dawned on me. When I said thinking of what to do with the extra money helped me to sleep, I realised it sounded materialistic! That's not the case at all. I am just happy that I will be able to treat the kids properly without telling them we can't afford it! I know everyone's health will be improved but I won't lie to you and say I'm not quitting because of money. I am quitting because of money... I simply just can not afford it anymore... finances have been really tight the past weeks and I've had enough of it!


Emz - Gothstitcher - Free and Healing for Two Days, 10 Hours and 24 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 8 Hours, by avoiding the use of 97 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £23.51.

Day 2

I sort of slept in this morning, I woke up at about 8:10am which means my patch from yesterday was on an extra 55 minutes. Fresh patch put on and went back to sleep... lol... awoke at around 9:50am and thought, oh no... need to give Kaylee (my 2 year old) her breakfast... it's getting late now, so that's me up.

Whenever I feel like a cigarette I just chew sugar free gum. Today I feel a little more relaxed. I went to the shop with Nathan (my 9 year old) and there was a lady just about to open a pack of cigarettes... I just looked away... and I didn't buy any either! GO ME! lol

Nik and I have come up with a plan... we normally spent £10 per day on cigarettes... so instead of buying the cigarettes, we will put money in a jar and see the money add up! HOPEFULLY, by the end of the month we will have roughly £280 and we have decided to buy the kids a new TV for their room! We haven't told them as we want it to be a surprise! I'm really excited about this, I can't wait to see their faces!

19:18

I don't know what to do with myself now... I was stitching but I had to put it away as it's a card I'm making for my eldest and she's home from her dad's now. I was playing Animal Crossing on the Wii but it's raining in my town so I got bored a bit too quick, I'm missing one butterfly to bring me up to date and there isn't any butterflies out in the town when it rains :-/

I'm bored as hell now.... what to do - what do to... ho hum. Maybe I'll have a look through my wips/ufo's... most of them are stored away in a box beside me so I won't have to dig far... well... not too far... ;-)

20:16

I want to cry :-(

22:34

Have made myself a coffee but need to drink it in the living room. I never smoked anywhere in the house except the kitchen with the window wide open so my coffee is normally drank in there... so need to change that habit.

I'm going to get my coffee, get my shower then play Animal Crossing : Let's Go To The City for a bit then bed.

Day 1!

Well, this morning I awoke at around 7:15am and as soon as my eyes were open I put on my first patch.

It is now 9:10am and I still have a craving which I'm doing my best to ignore... I know this is not going to be easy and I've mentally prepared myself for the bumpy road ahead.

I've joined the NiQuitin discussion board where I can get in touch which ex-smokers and people going through the same things as myself, I have a very dear friend who is smoke free for 11 days now and my partner is going to quit too so I have support.

On Monday I'm going to try and see a nurse about smoking cessation to also help me.

More updates as I go on.

Emz xxx

9:18am

I have printed out a PDF with a sort of check list. Instead of check marks, it's a score sheet to help remind me why I'm doing this.

Edited to fix a typo.

11:05am

OH BOY!

My son has started his nonesense and has stressed me out... I threatened him that I would have a fag if he didn't stop (he doesn't like me smoking) and he said he'd throw them in the bin... love to see him try, Nik has stashed them and I don't knowwhere! LMAO!

I have resisted the urge and now waiting for Nik to come back from the shops with Sugar Free Gum... this is not going to be easy but I always knew that anyway.

Sunday 7th June 2009 13:35am

Oh the joys... my oven has broken down again! I certainly picked the wrong day to quit!

Ok, well... I did it! I survived my first day! I went to bed sometime after 2am as I was watching a moving (Godsend with Robert de Niro... a good film but to me it was a bit twisted). I had my last cigarette at 12am on Saturday morning before goig to bed so that made it roughly 26 hours smoke free! WOO HOO! It was really tough though, but I stuck it out... I'm determined not to let tobacco rule my life anymore!