Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Day 10

I didn’t post yesterday because I was too busy stitching!


Anyway… another smoke free day… did have a lot of mints though… not good I know but they kept the cravings away.  Today I have the docs at 3:50pm to make sure I’m doing everything else right!!!


Short and sweet today… nothing major to report.

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Day 9 and WOO HOO!

Spent this morning productively... after doing the chores I sat and sorted the the new 30 skeins of DMC that arrived yesterday and I only have 15 doubles from it... so not bad.

I feel really good today! I really don't have anything to report TBH because I feel great! I still get the odd craving and I'm still having mad, mental dreams but I know it'll all pass.

Short but sweet today.

I have a docs appointment on Tuesday to see if I can referred to a quit nurse... I want to make sure I'm doing things right!

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Day 8 : On to week 2 now.

Well, I would have updated earlier… if I wasn’t in the pub today.  I survived!!!!  I survived the pub without smoking!  I bought the nicotine mint lozenges so I wasn’t chewing gum and trying to find somewhere to dispose of it.  There were two different strengths though… 4mg and 2 mg… I stuck with the 2mg to play it safe because of the patches and I’ve had a few from the pack (you get 36 in the pack) but they are only going to be used when I go out with friends or on a shopping trip… which is rare so they’ll be on reserve.


I couldn’t believe how easy it was to be able have fun and not smoke or annoy anyone! It felt great!  None of my friends smoke so it was so great not missing any of the conversation because I was out having a cig!  A friend of mine brought her boyfriend with her today, whom I’d never met before, and he smokes but he seems to have held off as much as possible while I was there… he was either being considerate or not a heavy smoker.


Also… I never really noticed before today when we were leaving the pub how much smoking is everywhere!  I couldn’t believe it but my friend (who quit 5 years ago) said she noticed too when she stopped!  It’s amazing!  I’m glad I’ve stopped now… I have a smidgen more confidence about me because I never noticed before how much I ponged when I smoked… now I don’t… I feel clearer too! :-)


Here’s to the rest of my life!!!!

Friday, 12 June 2009

Day 7

WOW! I feel so much better today than I did yesterday! I was so depressed and down in the dumps that I thought I’d be in my bed all day today for sure! But no… I got up this morning.

I did however awaken at about 2am with another F’d up dream… went back to sleep and had another dream but don’t remember that one. Don’t know how long I can keep doing this for… but I’ll just have plod on.. it’ll be worth it in the end… I know it will :)

So today I’m back on top of things… my oven even got fixed today! I’m stitching again whereas yesterday the thought of it made me feel worse!

Just think, after tonight I will have been a non-smoker for one whole week! WOO-HOO!

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Day 6


Very broken sleep with some very weird dreams last night. I was expecting the dreams sooner… wonder how many more nights of that to expect.

I’m supposed to be going to the beach this Saturday but apparently the weather for that day isn’t promising so it’s been re-arranged for the pub instead. Don’t think I’ll be consuming alcohol, would be to tempting to go and get cigs. Not ready for drinking yet I think.

I’m feeling much better today… just… well, my soft drinks taste flat even though they’re freshly opened from the fridge… might switch to water.


Feel in a bt of a lull right now... not sure what to do with myself. At about 13:45 I went for a half hour nap that lasted TWO hours... so I'm not long back up out of bed. I feel like there is something missing in my life and right now, I think I need a replacement to prevent me going back to the missing object... gawd.. I hope you know what I mean. xx


Can I go back to bed? I'm feeling really tired.

Not to mention I have put on 4LBs in just this week! Not good, NOT GOOD! I'm really angry with myself for falling in to that trap! I'm almost back at 12st now and feel miserable >.<

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Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Day 5


I had a nice evening last night and went to my bed early. There was a point though were I got so fed up that I made a mistake in my stitching… so that annoyed me and I’ll be picking that up again shortly. My hands even got ‘itchy’ with needing to something to do and before I went to bed I got restless… then when I knew it was bedtime.

I feel so much better today! I went out again to shops and someone blew smoke in my direction… I was actually disgusted! SO I coughed as loud as I could… purposely! Lol I think I got the message across J

It’s amazing how much more time you have when you don’t have a cigarette to waste those 5 minutes that could be spent doing something else. All those 5 minutes add up! SO you get more time to get stuff done or finish those little projects or odd jobs! And the good thing is… if I ever go back out to work… no ciggy breaks so more work in the day gets done! I feel really good now! Lol, I was in Somerfield this morning buying a couple of things for lunch and I said to myself… “Right, off to the fag counter to NOT buy any fags”… hee hee,.. it feels good not even looking at them anymore.


Nik is doing so much better today! I'm very proud of him! He had to call Nathan's school this evening and needed a cig after but I took his mind off it and he's fine :) He'll very soon be starting to feel the benefits!

I'm not long out of a shower and my patch was starting to come off. I had to put 6 plasters on it this morning because everytime I stretched my arm to reach for something it was coming undone. So I now have another four plasters on top of that because of my shower... lol... I look like a stabbing victim! pmsl.

Anyway, I'm hungry, off to see what's for my dinner... toodle - loo

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Day 4



Nik and I had a fight last night… I think we were both just a bit ratty due to the lack of cigarettes… he even said he was going out to buy some!  I think that’s what kicked it off because I was so angry and disappointed.  I’m really determined this time!  We were ok this morning.  He woke me gently and said hi… so I apologised as I have been quit longer so I’m feeling it more.


Tried booking my tickets for my trip next month but having no luck… wish I had a bloomin’ car! >.<


He still wants a cigarette… he refuses NRT and gum but I’m really hoping he doesn’t cave in L


We’re off out to the shops soon so I hope he doesn’t buy any.

Monday, 8 June 2009

Day 3


Had a little trouble getting to sleep last night... nasty nic struck just as I was dozing of... not wanting to chew gum in case I fell asleep and choked, I asked Nik if he had his juice in with him, which he didn't. So I said, "Oh well, I'll just tough it out." And I did! I started to think of things the extra money would be spent on like the kids TV, presents for christmas and birthdays... a new game even! That helped so I soon went to sleep.

I'm ok just now... but Nathan started this morning so I'm hoping it doesn't get too bad.


Yesterday, Nik & I gave our upstairs neighbour the rest of the tobacco, papers and tips... was nearly a full pouch. I knew she smoked roll ups so I knew they would have been appreciated. Well, today I got a wee surprise! My eldest came in with two little boxes of chocolates for Nik & me! They were a 'thank you' from my upstairs neighbour for giving her the tobacco! I couldn't believe it! I have never expected anything in return when I do something nice for someone... and at the end of the day... she's doing us the favour by taking it off our hands and keeping us from the temptation! We didn't normally smoke roll ups, they were 'emergency stash' in case we were completely skint and had ran out of cigarettes! I'm very happy she appreciates them... not many people would show their appreciation around here.


I have been feeling breathless and restless... For about an hour I have felt defeated and the urge to smoke grew incredibly strong... I had visions of myself going next door to get a cigarette! I text my friend who is also quitting and she called me back and got me round... I was even crying as I answered the phone to her. She's a gem, she really is :-).

I think Nik is going to give up however... things are adding up for him... but we'll see... he might just surprise me!


I was just looking back at today's post and something dawned on me. When I said thinking of what to do with the extra money helped me to sleep, I realised it sounded materialistic! That's not the case at all. I am just happy that I will be able to treat the kids properly without telling them we can't afford it! I know everyone's health will be improved but I won't lie to you and say I'm not quitting because of money. I am quitting because of money... I simply just can not afford it anymore... finances have been really tight the past weeks and I've had enough of it!

Emz - Gothstitcher - Free and Healing for Two Days, 10 Hours and 24 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 8 Hours, by avoiding the use of 97 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £23.51.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Day 2

I sort of slept in this morning, I woke up at about 8:10am which means my patch from yesterday was on an extra 55 minutes. Fresh patch put on and went back to sleep... lol... awoke at around 9:50am and thought, oh no... need to give Kaylee (my 2 year old) her breakfast... it's getting late now, so that's me up.

Whenever I feel like a cigarette I just chew sugar free gum. Today I feel a little more relaxed. I went to the shop with Nathan (my 9 year old) and there was a lady just about to open a pack of cigarettes... I just looked away... and I didn't buy any either! GO ME! lol

Nik and I have come up with a plan... we normally spent £10 per day on cigarettes... so instead of buying the cigarettes, we will put money in a jar and see the money add up! HOPEFULLY, by the end of the month we will have roughly £280 and we have decided to buy the kids a new TV for their room! We haven't told them as we want it to be a surprise! I'm really excited about this, I can't wait to see their faces!


I don't know what to do with myself now... I was stitching but I had to put it away as it's a card I'm making for my eldest and she's home from her dad's now. I was playing Animal Crossing on the Wii but it's raining in my town so I got bored a bit too quick, I'm missing one butterfly to bring me up to date and there isn't any butterflies out in the town when it rains :-/

I'm bored as hell now.... what to do - what do to... ho hum. Maybe I'll have a look through my wips/ufo's... most of them are stored away in a box beside me so I won't have to dig far... well... not too far... ;-)


I want to cry :-(


Have made myself a coffee but need to drink it in the living room. I never smoked anywhere in the house except the kitchen with the window wide open so my coffee is normally drank in there... so need to change that habit.

I'm going to get my coffee, get my shower then play Animal Crossing : Let's Go To The City for a bit then bed.

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Day 1!

Well, this morning I awoke at around 7:15am and as soon as my eyes were open I put on my first patch.

It is now 9:10am and I still have a craving which I'm doing my best to ignore... I know this is not going to be easy and I've mentally prepared myself for the bumpy road ahead.

I've joined the NiQuitin discussion board where I can get in touch which ex-smokers and people going through the same things as myself, I have a very dear friend who is smoke free for 11 days now and my partner is going to quit too so I have support.

On Monday I'm going to try and see a nurse about smoking cessation to also help me.

More updates as I go on.

Emz xxx


I have printed out a PDF with a sort of check list. Instead of check marks, it's a score sheet to help remind me why I'm doing this.

Edited to fix a typo.



My son has started his nonesense and has stressed me out... I threatened him that I would have a fag if he didn't stop (he doesn't like me smoking) and he said he'd throw them in the bin... love to see him try, Nik has stashed them and I don't knowwhere! LMAO!

I have resisted the urge and now waiting for Nik to come back from the shops with Sugar Free Gum... this is not going to be easy but I always knew that anyway.

Sunday 7th June 2009 13:35am

Oh the joys... my oven has broken down again! I certainly picked the wrong day to quit!

Ok, well... I did it! I survived my first day! I went to bed sometime after 2am as I was watching a moving (Godsend with Robert de Niro... a good film but to me it was a bit twisted). I had my last cigarette at 12am on Saturday morning before goig to bed so that made it roughly 26 hours smoke free! WOO HOO! It was really tough though, but I stuck it out... I'm determined not to let tobacco rule my life anymore!